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Sep. 4th, 2020 | 06:44 pm

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to be added, comment and tell me why you are not a stalker.

Link | can i get an amen? 16 HALLELUJAH(S)! | Share

May. 15th, 2008 | 08:12 pm


(and those guys next to him are all OUCH! YOUR KNOWLEDGE! IT GIVE US HALOS OF PAIN!)

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Nov. 25th, 2007 | 08:58 pm

so, why is it that all my friends, and i really do mean ALL my friends, are very, very attractive? i'm speaking here not only of my own impeccable taste in humans. it goes without saying that i surround myself with the cream of the crop, dahling. no, what i'm wondering is, why are all the people i get along with best in the world also so darned pretty to boot? (not to mention blindingly intelligent and charming, of course.) i'm not sure how to phrase this properly as an inquiry, but it's something that's come up more than once of late.

for instance: halloween. judith, john, eliot and i decided we would hit the town properly, and ventured out to Holocene, which is a dance club on Hawthorne. and i promise that i am not being unnecessarily self-congratulatory when i tell you that we were the best-looking group of kids in the place. this was not the contained world of reed college; this was the hot hangout for all of portland's stylish counterculture (although i suppose the real hipsters were all at Dante's or some shit) and still. discussion of this phenomenon afterwards by those of us who now work in the real world has led to a similar conclusion: most of the people out there are, by the standards to which we have become accustomed, not all that attractive.

i scroll down the list of my facebook friends and i am greeted by one beautiful human after another. when i take pictures of my friends, i don't even have to TRY to make them look good. so what's the deal?

Poll #1094971 Why Are You All So Fucking Pretty? (check all that apply.)

i have also noticed this phenomenon in my life:

no, but now you mention it . . . huh.

i feel the following way about your line of inquiry:

wow, man. did somebody say WANKFEST?

i feel that this phenomenon is likely due to the following:

you're all twenty years old and full of hope and education and are newly weaned off your parents' money. of COURSE you look good.
biology. you are compelled to surround yourself with all the strongest genes so you can make more gorgeous intelligent children.
nobody really builds strong friendships with people they don't kinda want to sleep with.
intelligence, attractiveness, and self-assertiveness are all linked to the way we presents ourselves, and we aren't very compatible with people who present themselves in vastly different ways.

additionally, i have the following opinion:

Link | can i get an amen? 6 HALLELUJAH(S)! | Share

Aug. 25th, 2007 | 02:39 am

post-anxiety disorder, worrying is very hard on me. it is difficult to worry like a normal person right now. every time i start to worry i become TERRIFIED that the whole horrific cycle of madness is going to start going in my head again. combine normal worry about normal things with a sort of dread about your own brain and whew, do you have a cocktail for cranky.

however. it is important to note that at this moment i am merely cranky. i had an unhappily low point earlier but it was right after a two-hour nap and i hadn't eaten in many hours. i rarely feel my best in such circumstances. some in'n'out, a very long drive with the decemberists, a few too many cigarettes and some dancing at a bar with a friend have put me back at normal. this is significant data. five months ago i would have been reduced to ... god, you don't even want to know.

looking back on that whole section of my life, i cannot IMAGINE how i managed to slog through so many months feeling so utterly utterly wretched every single second. and i do mean EVERY SINGLE SECOND. it was disgusting and unspeakably horrible, and not really possible to describe. i hope that none of you ever have to experience that feeling, like the act of existing is slowly no longer becoming worth the effort -- and if you have felt that way, you have all of my sympathy. (if you feel like that right now CALL ME, I AM NOT KIDDING.) i know that this will all likely sound melodramatic, but the more distance i get from it, the more i fully realize how badly things had gone in my brain. guys, they were very bad. dear my serotonin: i don't know where you went for those four months, but i will never for the rest of my life forget how happy i am to have you back.

thank you to the people who stuck with me while i lost it and for still sticking around today. i am staggered by the fact that none of you ever seemed to stop thinking i was awesome even when i really wasn't acting like it and certainly didn't believe it myself. thank you to everyone who made me eat something when i stopped eating. i think you quite literally kept me alive. thank you erin, who used to sit me on her bed with a plate of food and then punch me in the arm until i ate all of it. yes i got tired of it but i also got a lot of protein that way. and some big bruises. thank you sylvia for putting up with my being the worst roommate in the world during those months. my messes were epic, my habits bizarre, and my moods foul. i'm really sorry. thank you the therapist i treated like shit. thank you to the theatre i worked for, for not only putting up with my sudden disappearance but for still giving me a superlative reference, regardless. thank you judith for letting me obsess endlessly and manically on the phone and in person. you made me feel so much less crazy. and you give good advice, and distract me with good gossip. thank you to my parents for extreme patience and for plane tickets. thank you michael for the world's most sincere sympathy. thank you readers of these posts for commenting and for making me feel like someone worthwhile. thank you thank you thank you john, for never leaving, and for being infinitely worth my trust.

thanks. i'm still here.

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Aug. 14th, 2007 | 08:12 pm

dear the internet,
myself, jelow13  , linettasky  , and nidhogg  have just leased a house in Portland. i gave three weeks notice at my California job and plan to be in Portland on Sept. 7th. i am excited. i am ready. things are good.

here is the funny part. the house we just rented? it used to be the Crackhouse (a.k.a. Krackhaus or the Crack Home). this will only mean something to those of you who went to Reed, but to those of you, it will mean a lot. this is among the original Reed houses. however, when we move in, it will hardly be the Crackhouse as we once knew it. it's being almost totally remodeled (i.e. will no longer be a nicotene-stained den of sketchytude). we are very excited. Olde Reed, indeed.

now, however, i feel that we are met with an existential crisis. there has already been some discussion of this on the lj-webs: as nidhogg  put it, "If you change all the boards in Theseus's cheap college house, is it still Theseus's cheap college house?" in other words,

what the crap should we call our house?

the Halfway House
the Narc House
the House of the Future?
another name i have thought up which i will explain in the comments
no! you HAVE to keep calling it the Crackhouse!
8(53.3%)'re living in a place that used to be called the Crackhouse?

Link | can i get an amen? 11 HALLELUJAH(S)! | Share

Aug. 7th, 2007 | 10:59 pm

wait, who's an internet fashion superstar? OH THAT'S RIGHT, I AM!


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Aug. 7th, 2007 | 02:20 am

heaven don't mean nothin' until you've been through hell.

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Aug. 6th, 2007 | 01:54 am

oh no beautiful song lyrics!!Collapse )

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Aug. 5th, 2007 | 01:41 am

god. you know, there's nothing quite like those conversations that start out like the end of the world and end like the beginning of it.

and now, a total non-sequitur quote from the comfort movie i am currently watching.

"You disappoint me, Tom. If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it is that you can kill anyone."
-The Godfather II

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Aug. 1st, 2007 | 04:20 pm

am in the local public library. having just picked topic for paper i must write for yale's app, have gone slightly nuts.

books i am taking home:
Jack the Ripper and the London Press by L. Perry Curtis, Jr.
Ending Life: Ethics and the Way We Die by Margaret Pabst Battin
A Handbook on Hanging by Charles Duff*
Underground: The Tokyo Gas Attack and the Japanese Psyche by Haruki Murakami

*the subtitle of which is: "Being a short Introduction to the fine Art of Execution, containing much useful Information on Neck-Breaking, Throttling, Strangling, Asphyxiation, Decapitation, and Electocution; Data and Wrinkles on Hangmanship; with the late Mr. Hangman Barry's Method and his pioneering List of Drops; to which is added an Account of the Great Nuremberg Hangings; a Ready Reckoner for Hangmen; and many other items of interest including the Anatomy of Murder by Charles Duff of Gray's Inn, Barrister-at-Law

"All very Proper
do be read and kept
in every Family"

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